Kafka Oguro – SSR: “Best Wishes Snap”
Congratulations to Today
Part 1
HAMA Tours Office
Kafka: Our company, HAMA Tours, offers a full range of employee benefits. In addition to various insurance options, I would also like to establish a qualification acquisition support system and extended holiday leave.
Kafka: And in regard to that special day that comes once a year, birthdays–
HAMA House Living Room
Kafka: I’m home–
(Cracklers going off)
HAMA Tours Members: Happy birthday!!!
Shumai: Ruff ruff!
Kafka: Thanks everyone. I’m so happy you’re all here to celebrate my birthday with me.
Renga: No, no, no! Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to be more surprised!?
Renga: We shot off cracklers when you got home! You should be more startled or leap out of your skin or something!
Liguang: Oguro doesn’t immediately throw a fit over everything like you do.
Kafka: I had some idea that you guys might do something to celebrate my birthday.
Kafka: I made sure to take a deep breath before I entered the house.
Renga: Darn it! The surprise was a failure then. But, there’s still time! The pahty 1starts now!
MC: Look, Kafka, come sit over here. We prepared lots of your favorite foods for today.
Yukikaze: I made a bite-sized version of your favorite teriyaki burger so eat as much as you like. And Ten made sushi too.
Ten: It’s an amateur’s work though.
Renga: And Ushio made the cake. The name is, uh…
Ushio: [The Promising ☆ Dawn of Blue Ocean Cake].
Renga: That one! How hip!
Kafka: Wow, a blue cake. I hear that blue is a color that reduces appetite, but this looks really delicious.
Kafka: The artistry is incredible too. Is this marzipan… me?
Renga: Isn’t it great? You’re fishing!
Muneuji: U-chan is a genius pâtissier. It’s best to savor each bite.
Ushio: Hmph, well…
Kafka: Hehe, I see. I’ll eat it with care.
Toi: Happy Birthday, Kafka-kun. Here’s my present, tarot cards. The pattern art is really cute.
Toi: Use it when you’re telling fortunes. I’m sure it’ll lead you to the right answers when you need it.
Kafka: It’s very persuasive if you’re the one recommending it. Yeah, these feel natural in my hand. I’ll try fortune telling with these next time.
Nagi: My present is a fishing reel. I bought one you said you had never used before.
Nagi: Aim for the stars, Fishing Master.
Kafka: Ah, this is the one that was in a magazine! I wonder what the new release system feels like. I’m looking forward to using it.
Netaro: As KafuKafu requested, I created a [Make Your Beloved Dog’s Fur 220% More Floof Floof Brush]~!
Netaro: No matter what kind of coarse hair you might be dealing with, if you use this, you will definitely get a Fluffy Fluffy Bombahead2!”
Kafka: Haha, I wonder what Shumai will look like with a 220% fluff increase. I’ll try it out tonight.
Kafka: Thank you everyone. These are all wonderful presents… I’ll cherish them.
MC: It all worked out nice, Kafka.
MC: Alright, thanks for waiting for the cake. I’ve brought you the best piece!
Kafka: Thank you for the cake.
Kafka: Yep, it’s very delicious!
Kafka: If I hadn’t been warned in advance, I would have jumped up and away to the moon!
Renga: …
Kafka: Hm? What’s wrong, Renga?
Renga: Ah, um… Uh… I was wondering if you’re actually having fun.
Kafka: Of course I am. Why do you seem so uneasy?
Kafka: Are you worried because the surprise didn’t go as planned?
Renga: Oh, you saw right through me…
Renga: Well, I put effort into it more or less… I was planning to surprise you and make you laugh even more but…
MC: There’s no need to worry, Renga-kun. Kafka is very happy.
Renga: Really?
Kafka: Really really. Of course I’m happy. More than you think I am.
Kafka: (When I was in the hospital, I never had this many people celebrate my birthday.)
Kafka: (There’s no way I wouldn’t be happy when [Tomorrow] wasn’t a guarantee for me, but now I get to reach [Today] with my precious friends.)
Renga: Is-is that so? Well then, that’s great!
Renga: The others will be joining us later! They said to look forward to it as they have great presents and more activities planned.
Kafka: Eh? There’s more to come?
Nayuki: Please be prepared. We intend to celebrate to the fullest today.
Nayuki: There’s also the aforementioned [Employee Benefits] piece too. Look forward to tonight.
Renga: Ah, Employee… benefits? It’s that thing, right? You know…
Kafka: Yes, that’s it. The birthday-related system that HAMA Tours implemented for its employees.
Part 2
HAMA Tours Meeting Room
Kafka: (The proposal regarding employee benefits and birthdays was a while before my own birthday. It was shortly after HAMA Tours had been established.)
Nayuki: You want to make a unique employee benefit program?
Kafka: Yes. It’s boring if we only have the required essentials.
Kafka: It seems like other venture companies have various anniversary vacations and bonuses and strength training programs, so I thought we’d create something too.
Sakujiro: As expected of the young master, you’ve become a splendid president who cares about his employees. I’m very impressed.
Sakujiro: Since you’re proposing this idea now, surely you already have a concrete idea in mind?
Kafka: Yep. I thought we could do a system for birthdays.
Kafka: The name is – [Random Present System] !
Kafka: I thought we could do a system where a randomly selected lead would choose a gift and give it to the birthday person. The lead will be notified one week in advance.
Kafka: That way, we can foster relationships among all the groups, right? Of course, the company will provide funds for the gift, and it’ll be exciting to have to wait until the day of to find out who will give you a present.
Nayuki: A program where you don’t know who will give you a present until the last minute? That seems like it’ll be quite a surprise.
Nayuki: Then, how about we prepare a lottery to decide the combinations?
Sakujiro: I thought this might be the case so I have prepared the following options: a ladder lottery, a lottery wheel, a string lottery, darts, and a lottery app.
Nayuki: You have all that already?
Kafka: Being quick to the chase saves time. Well then, shall we pull everyone’s combinations? ♪
Kafka, Renga, and Ten’s Room
Kafka: …The birthday party is over. Someone should be coming to give me a present soon…
Kafka: (I’m a bit excited. It’s like I’m a kid again.)
Kafka: Yes, please come in.
Kuguri: Hey, Kafka. I’ll be your partner tonight.
Renga: K-Kuguri-san!?
Ten: Heh– that’s unexpected. I thought you were the type to ignore things like this.
Kuguri: I weighed my options and picked the one that sounded more interesting.
Kuguri: It makes me all hot when you stare at me like that. Would you two like to join our rendezvous?
Renga: Ah, no… Ten, let’s go. Let’s let Kafka and Kuguri-san be!
Ten: OK OK. Take your time, you two~
Kuguri: They’re quite adorable. I bet you can’t resist them either.
Kafka: Haha, more or less.
Kuguri: Well, it was tactless to make eyes at someone in front of today’s favorite.
Kuguri: Happy birthday, Kafka. Today, I’ll follow cicám 3and the others and obediently present my gift.
Kafka: An envelope? Can I open it?
Kuguri: Of course. Do as you please.
Kafka: Ah, is this what I talked about the other day?
Kuguri: Yes. It’s a pair of SS seat tickets for the first concert in Japan of that jazz artist you like.
Kafka: The platinum tickets that sold out in seconds after they went on sale? I’m surprised you got your hands on these.
Kuguri: I heard you wanted it, so I asked my little sheep to help out. That’s all.
Kuguri: Kafka. Please continue to rile us up and play with us greedily like a storm.
Kafka: Of course, that’s my intention. Because you’ll accompany me too, right? Amongst other things.
Kuguri: A gaze full of ambition… It makes me shiver. What do you desire from me?
Kafka: Hm… For now, I think I’ll ask you to accompany me to this concert.
Kafka: That’s why you gave me a pair of tickets, right? Thanks for the escort.
Kuguri: As expected, I’m glad you saw through it. It seems our taste in music is a match.
Kafka: Hehe, I had a good day today. Thanks so much.
Kafka: I’m looking forward to the next person’s birthday. Let’s all celebrate like this again.
Kafka: (With gratitude for the miracle of being born into this world. Let’s make many memories–)
Birthday Card Messages
Coming soon…
Footnotes
- Renga pronounces the English word for party incorrectly. ↩︎
- This was fun to research! Netaro uses the phrase “Bomb A Head!” which is a song from 1993. It refers to exploding your head or in this case, an explosion of fur. ↩︎
- Hungarian for little kitten ↩︎
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