Sand Sculpture of the Heart

(Today’s groups are Tao-kun and Kinari-kun, and then Kuguri-san, Raito-san, and Chihiro-kun together.

The evening live shows have been packed every day, so I think we can call this study trip a success. Let’s do our best with today’s hospitality, too!)

Tao-kun? Aren’t you supposed to be with Kinari-kun over at the photo spot? Did something happen!?

Huh!?

(Why is there such a large crowd!? I think… Is that someone passed out in the sand!?)

Kinari-kun—!

Kinari-kun—!?

(W-w-what is happening here!?)

Stop! Stop, Kinari-kun! That’s an order! Talk like you usually do!!

Tao-kun, I’ll contact Nayuki-kun and have him come here ASAP. Can I leave the hospitality work to you for a bit?

Phew, the tourist who passed out has recovered, and Nayuki-kun brought Chihiro-kun to help out… Somehow, we managed to handle everything…

It’s sorted out now, so don’t worry about it… But why in the world…? Um, sorry, I may be jumping to conclusions, but were you trying to impersonate Kuguri-san?

(Kuguri-san… I wonder if he was just teasing Kinari-kun. I’ll have a talk to him later, to really drive the nail in about this behavior.)

I know you’re always very diligent, so there must be a reason, right? What did you mean by the thing you’re lacking…?

…!

(…I remember him mentioning something the other day about how he was missing sand for his growth.)

You really want to grow up that fast?

(Ah… Is this the reason he’s so impatient?)

Kinari-kun.

Since we’re off tomorrow, not doing any ambassador duties… How about we take a trip together somewhere, just the two of us?

The sea breeze feels so nice—. This location is called the Uradome Coast. I’ve may have been here before, but it’s still one of my favorite spots.

The coast here has been whittled away by the rough waves of the Sea of Japan, giving it a complex topography, so not only is there a variety of landscapes to enjoy, but even just looking at the crystal clear water is wonderful…

Oops, that’s not what we came here to talk about today.

You said yesterday that you wanted to quickly become an adult, but I wanted to hear the reason directly from you as to why you feel like you need to rush.

Meaning you only just started developing your heart?

For now, you can still be considered emotionally a child, right? Well then, let’s build a sand mountain together!

Yup. When I was a little kid, whenever we went to the beach, I’d always build a sand mountain. Let’s make one now!

First, gather the sand like this… and then pour a bit of ocean water on it here and there!

You need to firmly compact it. Once the mound is large enough, we can dig a hole on each side and connect it like a tunnel.

Uh-huh. With my older brother. It was fun back then, and it’s fun now, too. Alright, let’s dig out the tunnel now, Kinari-kun!

If that happens, we’ll build up the sand and try again. Let’s persevere and see where it takes us.

We did it!! It’s connected!

Hey, Kinari-kun, let’s shake hands through the tunnel!

…Even when I was a kid, I loved the moment where the tunnel finally connected with the other person, and I still love it now. It makes me so happy.

Yeah…!

I… I think I probably didn’t understand why you were so intent on quickly finding the twenty-one grams and becoming an adult.

The other day, when you mentioned you didn’t have enough sand, I told you not to rush, right?

There is a part of me that still thinks it’s okay to stay as you are, emotionally like a child, and to take your time, and that your childhood is precious because it’s not something you can return to.

For example, the kids in the Day Group are still only sixteen. When spending time with them, I can really feel the passion that only exists at that time in your life, and it makes me want to treasure the present.

Now that I’m an adult, I find myself wishing that people wouldn’t rush into becoming an adult.

But this is different. Kinari-kun, you want to change now. So I shouldn’t say not to be hasty… or that it’s okay to take your time.

I’m rooting for you. I’m right here, and I’ll always love you, both the Kinari-kun that you are now, and the Kinari-kun that you’ll become in the future.

Struggle a lot, worry a lot, and grow from it all! I believe in you. That’s what I should have told you.

When I was little, I wanted to grow up quickly, too. I guess I forgot that feeling, is all.

Yeah. Whenever I had a fight with a friend or whenever it felt like I couldn’t breathe at home…

I used to think, “If I was an adult, I could solve all of my own problems, so why am I stuck being a kid?” I started to hate myself for being so immature and ended up feeling miserable.

In fact, I have times now where I feel down!

Let’s see… It’d be miserable to spend your whole life hating yourself, right?

I can’t always have someone around to console me when I’m feeling that way. Even if someone’s there to offer me support, in the end, I have to be the one to accept my own immaturity.

So give yourself a hug! A big tight squeeze for the sake of your heart.

Ahaha, I’m embarrassed I couldn’t say anything more impressive, but I couldn’t think of anything else.

When I hug the younger self in my head, or a version of myself where I wasn’t good enough, I tell myself everything will be okay, and then it all feels a bit better. It makes me feel like I can move forward again.

I know you may think you’re not enough right now, Kinari-kun, so I won’t tell you not to be impatient. But…

I hope that sometimes you’ll hug yourself as you are now and also that part of yourself that you think is immature.

Yes, tightly. Even if only you imagine doing it.

Yes. At the very least, I have days like that.