Broken Mug

…

This hospital has state-of-the-art medical care. Don’t worry, I can guarantee it.

It seems the knife miraculously avoided any vital organs. According to the doctor, he should make a full recovery.

Everything is stable at the moment, so go rest, Raito.

I’m sorry… I don’t want to leave his side right now. This is all my fault…

If only I had moved out of the way… Apologies… I can’t talk about this anymore…

…

…

(I can’t believe things ended up like this… I overheard that his life isn’t in danger, but still…

I bought Raito-san something to eat, but I can’t imagine he has much of an appetite right now…

Hm? There’s someone standing in front of the hospital room…?)

What should I do…?

(Chihiro? I’m not sure how to handle this. Should I call out to him? We haven’t properly spoken to each other at all lately.)

…

(No, there’s no way I can ignore him when he looks so sad…)

Chihiro… Are you all right?

Taotao…

(This is so awkward… But he looks like he’s about to cry…)

I bought flowers… I hope it’s good enough.

Good enough?

The flower’s meaning…

(Chihiro… He really is a good guy at heart.)

Are the flowers… for Nayuki-san?

I thought he might be happy to see flowers when he wakes up… But I don’t know when that’ll be so I got potted ones…

I’m not sure if potted plants are good for inpatients¹…

R-really!? Then I need to b-buy something else…

No, don’t worry about it. It’s probably fine in this era.

This era?

I’m sure Nayuki-san will appreciate flowers of any kind. I also bought something, so why don’t we go in together?

…’K-kay…

Raito-san looked extremely worn down… He hasn’t even slept after donating all that blood… I’m worried.

Yeah. I hope Nayu-ki wakes up soon. I’m sure it was scary…

…Weren’t you scared, too? Are you holding up okay?

…

Taotao, I’m so sorry…

Huh…?

I’ve been terrible to you… I said all those awful things even though I didn’t mean them and made ridiculous requests knowing it was wrong…

I’m really, really sorry.

When I was terrified at the thought of Nayu-ki dying… the person I wanted by my side the most was you, Taotao.

But with how cruel I’ve been to you, I didn’t even have the right to ask… I regret everything…

It’s all my fault… I’m sorry…

Chihiro…

Y-you don’t have to forgive me, I just want to be able to talk to you again…

Uh, it’s impossible to talk like old times if I don’t forgive you…

Anyway, I haven’t been mad at you since the beginning.

What…? B-but why? Haven’t I been awful to you…?

Well, yeah, sure.

T-then… 

Hm… I think I’ve mentioned my little brother to you before, right? He had a similar moody phase when he was little…

This situation reminded me of those times. So, I wasn’t really angry.

…Oh. How old is your brother?

Five years younger than me.

So seven years younger than me! You compared me to a little kid!?

Ahaha. But he’s a cute little kid in my eyes.

…

My parents viewed me with blind devotion as the chosen child of God. They didn’t pay any attention to my little brother at all. I think it would have qualified as neglect.

I thought I needed to be the one to step in and cherish him, so I looked after him in place of my parents. He had a phase during that time where he had all these bossy and outlandish demands…

I was taken aback at first, but then I realized he was trying to test my love for him. What mattered most was making sure he felt at ease…

…

Waaah…

W-what’s wrong…?

You mean Chii’s feelings were an open book this whole time? H-how mortifying…

Well, don’t you usually wear your heart on your sleeve? You mentioned that your parents left you alone as a kid, too.

Uuuuuuuuu~…

Taotao’s too mature… So unfair…

Huh? A new grievance already?

Sorry… But it’s embarrassing…

That being said, you were so normal with me at first that I was at a loss as to what could’ve caused the sudden change. I was sitting around in a cold sweat for a while.

It’s… because you talked about your best friend… I felt…

…

…?

I was jealous…

…!

You’re like a best friend to me, Taotao… But then I thought, maybe I wasn’t your number one…

And somehow… I started acting weird even though I knew I was wrong, and began bossing you around; my mouth just moved on its own…

I felt relief every time you listened to one of my demands and thought, “he’s still my friend…” Chii really is just like your little brother…

It’s exactly as you said. My parents… didn’t love me, either.

I took advantage of your kindness…

Chihiro…

My mom would praise my dancing when she was in a good mood. But apparently I look a lot like my dad who abandoned us…

So she basically resented my very existence.

I’ve always had times where I felt like there was a gaping hole left in my heart…

If my heart had a shape, I think it would look like a mug with a hole at the bottom…

I receive so much love from fans as an idol… But no matter how much love I fill my heart with, it all flows right through the bottom.

Aren’t I greedy? I keep taking and taking but still want more.

It’s the same with you, Taotao… We finally got close, but I wasn’t satisfied with just your kindness…

I know it’s a problem, but no matter what I do, I can’t fill the hole.

I hate myself the most for being like this…

I get it now…

…

How can we seal up the hole? Can I do it?

…!

Y-you’ll seal the hole for me…?

If you can’t do it alone, then I’ll do whatever I can to help.

…

How can you be this nice?

…I think it’s because I consider you my best friend, too…

…Really?

I couldn’t lie about something as embarrassing as this…

Alright, is there anything you’d like for me to do? Try and think of something.

Ah, but anything other than serving as your gofer, okay?

…O-of course I won’t order you around like that anymore…

If anything goes… then I’d like it if you opened up about yourself.

!

It kind of feels like you have a secret…? Sometimes, it seems like you’re trying to hide something…

But since you said you hate telling lies, I thought it was better not to ask.

Although, if that secret is weighing heavy on you, I-I thought I’d want to know so I could support you…

Haha, so the cat is out of the bag. I guess I should have expected that since I’m crap at hiding things.

The others probably haven’t noticed… Um, it’s just that I’m the one closest to you…

If you’re willing to listen, I’ll share it with you. It’s been painful carrying it on my own.

Although, you probably aren’t going to believe me. Is that all right with you?

I think I can believe you…

…Alright, is it okay if we move somewhere else?